Last night at work I was contemplating a subject I have been meaning to write about for some time. This led me to consider the pillars of the faith, of the gospel. I believe the three foundational pillars of the faith are:
CHRIST HAS COME
God, through the prophets and with great detail, promised the coming of Christ. The gospel is this: Christ has come. Jesus of Nazareth is the Christ. The gospels tell of his fulfilling the prophecies in his birth and ministry. But the gospels have a shocking end - the Christ was crucified!
CHRIST HAS BEEN RAISED FROM THE DEAD
Yes. Jesus, who said he was the Christ, was crucified, dead and buried. But the gospel declares he was raised from the dead! This is what the Apostles proclaimed when they preached the gospel. This is actually more important than the crucifixion. What?? Yes, the resurrection is the demonstration the Jesus is Christ, the Son of the living God. The resurrection declares his death was not in vain. The resurrection secures forgiveness of sins and eternal life.
Jesus of Nazareth is the Christ. He who was crucified, dead and buried, was raised from the dead and ascended into heaven where he sits at the right hand of God. Jesus is alive and he is Lord!
CHRIST IS COMING AGAIN
He whom the heavens have received will return in power and glory. He will raise the dead and establish the kingdom of God here on this earth. "Behold, I come quickly." This is our hope.
This the message the apostles preached: “And daily in the temple, and in every house, they ceased not to teach and preach Jesus the Christ.” Remove any pillar and the faith topples. Deny any of this and you are no longer holding the faith once delivered.
This is nothing new and every Christian would confess the same. Yet I am persuaded that this is not what is emphasized in much of contemporary preaching. This is what I hope to address further in another post.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Monday, February 24, 2014
That was an interesting dream
I had a dream today. Very vivid. When I woke up, I considered going back to sleep but I wanted to remember this dream, so I got up in order to write it down.
My house was on a high hill. The back yard was very large and went down to this beautiful and inviting field. I was aware that in the past I would sit at the top of the hill and look at this field. I was drawn to it but had never been down there.
This day, Tiernan was with me and we finally decided to go down there. So we started off down the hill. There was a fence marking the end of my property. As we neared the fence, that part of the back yard was beautiful and I was so excited about it, seems I had never ventured to this part of my yard before. There was a large rock just below the surface, with just a portion of it exposed. And I was thrilled to have it in my yard.
As we drew near the fence, we saw a gate in the fence. And it was open. When we got to the gate and examined it, I had the distinct impression that people had often come onto my property via the gate. For some reason, we stopped at the gate, still on my property, and watched the field. It was so beautiful. It was an open area that lay out before me. There was a steam and there was some wildlife. I thought the stream was shallow, but then we saw this deer (?) with horns swimming downstream. There was a structure here, and some trees, just outside the fence, almost like a covered dock. As we sat there watching the field, yearning to go through the gate, but afraid of something, a car came driving up on the field, from the right. I told Tiernan to be very still and just to wait and see what happened. The car stopped and a woman got out. She greeted us! So much for sitting still. It seems her car had a sensitive camera that let her know if there were any people around. She was wearing some kind of fur coat and when she got out, she put on another fur coat, of a different color and size. I think it was her intention to feed animals and I had the impression that she came often.
At this point, Tiernan said he didn’t want to go the field, it frightened him and he wanted to go back to the house. He said, “It’s so lonely here.” I decided I didn’t want to go back right then, I was determined to go through the fence and explore this beautiful, welcoming, inviting area beyond the gate.
This is the saddest part of my dream - I woke up!
But, I woke up with the impression that this is significant. I’m at the edge of something beautiful and inviting and the gate is open. I haven’t gone through the gate yet, but it seems I am ready and determined to take that step. Clearly, I am still on this side of the gate and passing through will require a definite decision and determination. Alas! I woke up before passing through!!
My house was on a high hill. The back yard was very large and went down to this beautiful and inviting field. I was aware that in the past I would sit at the top of the hill and look at this field. I was drawn to it but had never been down there.
This day, Tiernan was with me and we finally decided to go down there. So we started off down the hill. There was a fence marking the end of my property. As we neared the fence, that part of the back yard was beautiful and I was so excited about it, seems I had never ventured to this part of my yard before. There was a large rock just below the surface, with just a portion of it exposed. And I was thrilled to have it in my yard.
As we drew near the fence, we saw a gate in the fence. And it was open. When we got to the gate and examined it, I had the distinct impression that people had often come onto my property via the gate. For some reason, we stopped at the gate, still on my property, and watched the field. It was so beautiful. It was an open area that lay out before me. There was a steam and there was some wildlife. I thought the stream was shallow, but then we saw this deer (?) with horns swimming downstream. There was a structure here, and some trees, just outside the fence, almost like a covered dock. As we sat there watching the field, yearning to go through the gate, but afraid of something, a car came driving up on the field, from the right. I told Tiernan to be very still and just to wait and see what happened. The car stopped and a woman got out. She greeted us! So much for sitting still. It seems her car had a sensitive camera that let her know if there were any people around. She was wearing some kind of fur coat and when she got out, she put on another fur coat, of a different color and size. I think it was her intention to feed animals and I had the impression that she came often.
At this point, Tiernan said he didn’t want to go the field, it frightened him and he wanted to go back to the house. He said, “It’s so lonely here.” I decided I didn’t want to go back right then, I was determined to go through the fence and explore this beautiful, welcoming, inviting area beyond the gate.
This is the saddest part of my dream - I woke up!
But, I woke up with the impression that this is significant. I’m at the edge of something beautiful and inviting and the gate is open. I haven’t gone through the gate yet, but it seems I am ready and determined to take that step. Clearly, I am still on this side of the gate and passing through will require a definite decision and determination. Alas! I woke up before passing through!!
Monday, February 3, 2014
The adventure continues
Beginning March 2nd I will have another opportunity to teach the adult Sunday School class. The pastor graciously asked me if I wanted to teach the Spring Quarter, but I know how this really went down. He spoke to the other brother first. (Just in cased you didn’t get it, that means he asked me second!) And that brother said, “I don’t want to teach the Spring Quarter. Ask Jeff. He’ll teach any quarter.” Well, he is right about that!
As I already posted on fb, I will teaching The Kingdom Principle of Faith. We will be taking a look at faith in the gospels: What Jesus taught about and How He responded to it. It is exciting to read through the Gospels and see Jesus ministering and teaching. I would like to be able to teach through the Gospel of Matthew, but I only have 13 weeks. And it took me 13 weeks just to teach the Sermon on the Mount!
The Gospels tell us about Jesus. The record of his works is a testimony to who he is. But, in the Gospels, Jesus is preaching and teaching about the kingdom of God. This means they are also a record of kingdom principles. And faith is clearly an important principle in the kingdom of God. So we will examine various encounters in the Gospels where faith is explicitly mentioned and see what we can learn about it.
There is one thing about faith that has intrigued me for some time. Faith is a noun. Faithful the adjective. Faithfully the adverb. Faithfulness is also a noun. But there is no verb form for faith. For that we use a different word in English, Believe. The Greek word has a noun/verb/adjective form, but this one Greek word requires two English words. Isn’t that interesting?
They are both old words, but believe seems to be the older English word.
Believe - Middle English bileven, from Old English belȳfan, belēfan, gelēfan;
Faith - Middle English, from Anglo-Norman fed, from Latin fidēs
Fidēs has a verb form, fidere, and I’m pretty sure fed did as well, yet neither seems to have survived into modern English. I find this fascinating.
To believe is to accept something as true. Faith (belief) is the content of what is believed. So, when we come across expressions like, When Jesus saw their faith… we will be inquiring, “What was it they believed? How would this apply to me today?” Inquiring minds want to know!
As I have gone through the Gospels preparing for this study I have come to the conclusion that there is a distinct possibility that we will not have time to examine every encounter marked by faith. And John! We will probably only look at two there, maybe three. But it is my prayer that what we do consider will encourage, strengthen, and stimulate us to believe Jesus to do great things in us and for us.
Y’know, Jesus is said to have marveled twice, both concerning faith:
When Jesus heard [it], he marvelled, and said to them that followed, Verily I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel.
And he marvelled because of their unbelief
We certainly don’t want Jesus marveling at our unbelief, because in that case, he could there do no mighty work. May the Lord grant us grace to have great faith in him!
As I already posted on fb, I will teaching The Kingdom Principle of Faith. We will be taking a look at faith in the gospels: What Jesus taught about and How He responded to it. It is exciting to read through the Gospels and see Jesus ministering and teaching. I would like to be able to teach through the Gospel of Matthew, but I only have 13 weeks. And it took me 13 weeks just to teach the Sermon on the Mount!
The Gospels tell us about Jesus. The record of his works is a testimony to who he is. But, in the Gospels, Jesus is preaching and teaching about the kingdom of God. This means they are also a record of kingdom principles. And faith is clearly an important principle in the kingdom of God. So we will examine various encounters in the Gospels where faith is explicitly mentioned and see what we can learn about it.
There is one thing about faith that has intrigued me for some time. Faith is a noun. Faithful the adjective. Faithfully the adverb. Faithfulness is also a noun. But there is no verb form for faith. For that we use a different word in English, Believe. The Greek word has a noun/verb/adjective form, but this one Greek word requires two English words. Isn’t that interesting?
They are both old words, but believe seems to be the older English word.
Believe - Middle English bileven, from Old English belȳfan, belēfan, gelēfan;
Faith - Middle English, from Anglo-Norman fed, from Latin fidēs
Fidēs has a verb form, fidere, and I’m pretty sure fed did as well, yet neither seems to have survived into modern English. I find this fascinating.
To believe is to accept something as true. Faith (belief) is the content of what is believed. So, when we come across expressions like, When Jesus saw their faith… we will be inquiring, “What was it they believed? How would this apply to me today?” Inquiring minds want to know!
As I have gone through the Gospels preparing for this study I have come to the conclusion that there is a distinct possibility that we will not have time to examine every encounter marked by faith. And John! We will probably only look at two there, maybe three. But it is my prayer that what we do consider will encourage, strengthen, and stimulate us to believe Jesus to do great things in us and for us.
Y’know, Jesus is said to have marveled twice, both concerning faith:
When Jesus heard [it], he marvelled, and said to them that followed, Verily I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel.
And he marvelled because of their unbelief
We certainly don’t want Jesus marveling at our unbelief, because in that case, he could there do no mighty work. May the Lord grant us grace to have great faith in him!
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Customers. You gotta love ‘em
Just a few humorous recent interactions with customers.
People often pay for their purchases with coins. Lots of coins. As I am able I will roll the coins to facilitate counting the drawer at the end of my shift and whenever I have a roll of quarters I will often ask people, “Would you like $10 in quarters?” Every once in a while someone really does want $10 in quarters, but these two people didn’t!
One woman responded, “Lord no! God no! Please, Lord, No!”
A little later a man replied, “I swear I don’t!”
I guess they really didn’t want the quarters!!
The next night a woman came in wearing a Waffle House uniform. Waffle House is right across the street and I often see their workers on break. Anyway, she bought a beer. I commented, “If this is what you get to do on break, I really need to go to work at Waffle House.” She immediately cried out, literally cried out, “Oh God no! Please don’t ever get a job at Waffle House!!”
With a recommendation like that, I think I will abstain from applying at the Waffle House!
This morning a woman came in and asked for a box of Newports. I had never seen her before and she looked young so I asked for her ID. She said, “It’s in the car, I’ll bring it back in.” I didn’t move and she said, “You need it now?” “Yes, ma’am.” She said, “It’s too cold for that. Just give me $12 in gas.”
Makes you wonder about that ‘ID in the car’ doesn’t it?
Customers. You gotta love ‘em.
People often pay for their purchases with coins. Lots of coins. As I am able I will roll the coins to facilitate counting the drawer at the end of my shift and whenever I have a roll of quarters I will often ask people, “Would you like $10 in quarters?” Every once in a while someone really does want $10 in quarters, but these two people didn’t!
One woman responded, “Lord no! God no! Please, Lord, No!”
A little later a man replied, “I swear I don’t!”
I guess they really didn’t want the quarters!!
The next night a woman came in wearing a Waffle House uniform. Waffle House is right across the street and I often see their workers on break. Anyway, she bought a beer. I commented, “If this is what you get to do on break, I really need to go to work at Waffle House.” She immediately cried out, literally cried out, “Oh God no! Please don’t ever get a job at Waffle House!!”
With a recommendation like that, I think I will abstain from applying at the Waffle House!
This morning a woman came in and asked for a box of Newports. I had never seen her before and she looked young so I asked for her ID. She said, “It’s in the car, I’ll bring it back in.” I didn’t move and she said, “You need it now?” “Yes, ma’am.” She said, “It’s too cold for that. Just give me $12 in gas.”
Makes you wonder about that ‘ID in the car’ doesn’t it?
Customers. You gotta love ‘em.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Call on the name of the Lord
A couple of years ago I became friends with a Winthrop student from Saudi Arabia. He was a devout Muslim and we spent hours discussing Islam and Christianity. For his part, I was never quite sure if he was trying to convert me, truly seeking the Lord, or just enjoying the friendship and conversation. Whichever it was, when he wasn’t saying the Bible was unreliable, he would repeatedly insist that the Bible taught that the earliest faith was Islam. Islam means submission, and it was his assertion that the Bible taught the essence of religion was submission to God.
Is this the essence of Bible religion? No. Oh, there is submission in the Bible, Say unto God, How terrible art thou in thy works! through the greatness of thy power shall thine enemies submit themselves unto thee (Psalm 66:3). As you can see, this is about enemies and power. Close to the truth, yet wide of the mark.
This is really neat – the essence of biblical religion, both Old and New Testament, can be summed up in seven words: call upon the name of the Lord. I recently looked at every occurrence of this phrase, and it’s kin, call on the Lord. My findings take up five pages! When you add the phrase, cried unto the Lord, you have eight pages of verses! This is the heart of the biblical faith in God.
The very first occurrence of this phrase is in Genesis 4:26
And to Seth, to him also there was born a son; and he called his name Enos: then began men to call upon the name of the LORD.
Amen! What does this actually look like? Psalm 116:4
Then called I upon the name of the LORD; O LORD, I beseech thee, deliver my soul.
So, it’s really simple. To call upon the name of the Lord means to ask Him to help you, deliver you, save you.
Why is this so important? Why would this act be so vital? How can this capture genuine faith? To call upon the name of the Lord means you admit you cannot deliver yourself, save yourself. You are at the end of your rope and you need help. It means you are convinced that God can and will help you, and you are asking Him to do just that.
In other words, to call on the name of the Lord involves repentance and faith. But it speaks of repentance and faith in a most intimate way. It’s not clinical. It’s not theoretical. It’s not intellectual. This is personal. And when you add "the name of the Lord” you have the full picture, for “the name of the Lord” stands for all that He is and has revealed of Himself to us. That’s why the Bible lays such emphasis on the names of God. It’s good to know the names of God, for then you can call upon Him and ask Him to be for you what he has revealed Himself to be. And the name Jesus captures all that. In the New Testament we read, Whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved. That is, on the name of Jesus. Thus Christians are described as, all that in every place call upon the name of Jesus Christ our Lord. And again, that means that you see in Jesus all that God is and all that He has promised to do and be for you, and you are asking Him to be and do just that for you. Amen!
A couple of weeks ago I had a problem with the kitchen drain. It would back up and drain very slowly. I looked at it and figured out what I thought was wrong. But I concluded, “Even if my diagnosis is right, I don’t know how to fix this.” So I called a plumber. I said, “I have this problem (I was as specific as I could be). Can you come fix this for me?” We say, “I called a plumber.” In Bible language it is, “I called upon the name of the plumber.” And I called a plumber because his name says this is something he can do.
The message of the Bible is not, “I am God. I am all powerful. Submit to me or die.” It is rather:
and
Amen!
Is this the essence of Bible religion? No. Oh, there is submission in the Bible, Say unto God, How terrible art thou in thy works! through the greatness of thy power shall thine enemies submit themselves unto thee (Psalm 66:3). As you can see, this is about enemies and power. Close to the truth, yet wide of the mark.
This is really neat – the essence of biblical religion, both Old and New Testament, can be summed up in seven words: call upon the name of the Lord. I recently looked at every occurrence of this phrase, and it’s kin, call on the Lord. My findings take up five pages! When you add the phrase, cried unto the Lord, you have eight pages of verses! This is the heart of the biblical faith in God.
The very first occurrence of this phrase is in Genesis 4:26
And to Seth, to him also there was born a son; and he called his name Enos: then began men to call upon the name of the LORD.
Amen! What does this actually look like? Psalm 116:4
Then called I upon the name of the LORD; O LORD, I beseech thee, deliver my soul.
So, it’s really simple. To call upon the name of the Lord means to ask Him to help you, deliver you, save you.
Why is this so important? Why would this act be so vital? How can this capture genuine faith? To call upon the name of the Lord means you admit you cannot deliver yourself, save yourself. You are at the end of your rope and you need help. It means you are convinced that God can and will help you, and you are asking Him to do just that.
In other words, to call on the name of the Lord involves repentance and faith. But it speaks of repentance and faith in a most intimate way. It’s not clinical. It’s not theoretical. It’s not intellectual. This is personal. And when you add "the name of the Lord” you have the full picture, for “the name of the Lord” stands for all that He is and has revealed of Himself to us. That’s why the Bible lays such emphasis on the names of God. It’s good to know the names of God, for then you can call upon Him and ask Him to be for you what he has revealed Himself to be. And the name Jesus captures all that. In the New Testament we read, Whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved. That is, on the name of Jesus. Thus Christians are described as, all that in every place call upon the name of Jesus Christ our Lord. And again, that means that you see in Jesus all that God is and all that He has promised to do and be for you, and you are asking Him to be and do just that for you. Amen!
A couple of weeks ago I had a problem with the kitchen drain. It would back up and drain very slowly. I looked at it and figured out what I thought was wrong. But I concluded, “Even if my diagnosis is right, I don’t know how to fix this.” So I called a plumber. I said, “I have this problem (I was as specific as I could be). Can you come fix this for me?” We say, “I called a plumber.” In Bible language it is, “I called upon the name of the plumber.” And I called a plumber because his name says this is something he can do.
The message of the Bible is not, “I am God. I am all powerful. Submit to me or die.” It is rather:
Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
and
call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.
Amen!
I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised:
so shall I be saved from mine enemies.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Observations from behind the counter
Do you have your ID?
Tobacco and alcohol are classified as “Age Restricted Substances” and require an ID for purchase. This puts me in the position of asking the question, “Do you have your ID?” several times a night. This is so emphasized by the company that just this morning I had a refresher course on checking IDs!
Here are a couple of recent ID encounters.
Two women came into the store the other night. Both of them were black (the relevance of this will become apparent). They came to the counter and one of them was buying a beer. She also asked for a box of Newports. Her friend immediately corrected her, “Soft pack.” They had a brief discussion and decided on the soft pack. At this point, I don’t know who the cigarettes are for, so as I came back to the register I said, “I’ll need both your IDs.”
Woman # 1 had hers but it quickly became obvious that woman #2 did not. She immediately became hostile and argumentative, informing me that she didn’t need her ID, that she wasn’t buying anything from this store, that these cigarettes weren’t even for her. And all this was profanity laced. I tried to explain that it had the appearance they were buying this together and therefore I needed everyone’s ID. She said to her friend, “We can go buy this at another store.” Which was fine with me, as I was growing tired of the tirade and I removed the beer from the counter and said, “Yes, you can.” On her way out she said to her friend, loud enough so I would be sure to hear, “We don’t need any more of this racist-ass crap.”
Ha! I don’t care what color you are. I know, you know, and I know you know, you need an ID to buy this stuff! When I told Mary about this I said, “I’ve been cussed out by men, women, white people, and black people. I’m an equal opportunity ‘cuss out clerk’!
Whenever I train a new clerk, one of the first things I tell them is, “This is your drawer. You ID any one you want to ID. Don’t let them tell you, ‘I know Jeff blah blah…’ You want an ID? You ask for ID.”
Last week I had a new girl for two nights. A man came in. I knew him. I’ve sold age restricted substances to him. But she didn’t know him so she asked for his ID. Turned out he didn’t have it on him. He began to plead that he knew me and I knew him etc and then to plead with me. I told him, “Man, this is her drawer, it’s her call. She has to act like I’m not here.” She refused the sale.
He was angry and told me, “You and I are about to have a falling out, now.” He eventually left.
He came in last night and told me, “I’m mad at you and you know why.”
So I kinda got on him, “Listen, that girl has to get used to checking for IDs. What's gonna happen when I’m not standing behind her and some one comes in and says, “I know Jeff. He sells me….” She doesn’t know. She’s gotta learn to be tough and check everyone’s ID.”
To his credit he replied, “Touché.”
And this morning I learned I’m going to have even more angry people – I was informed that I cannot sell age restricted substances to third parties. That is, and this happens all the time, they come in and say, “He/She says they want [this kind of] cigarettes…” Since I don’t know the third party and their age, No Sale. I tell you now, I’m looking at some angry people…
Tobacco and alcohol are classified as “Age Restricted Substances” and require an ID for purchase. This puts me in the position of asking the question, “Do you have your ID?” several times a night. This is so emphasized by the company that just this morning I had a refresher course on checking IDs!
Here are a couple of recent ID encounters.
Two women came into the store the other night. Both of them were black (the relevance of this will become apparent). They came to the counter and one of them was buying a beer. She also asked for a box of Newports. Her friend immediately corrected her, “Soft pack.” They had a brief discussion and decided on the soft pack. At this point, I don’t know who the cigarettes are for, so as I came back to the register I said, “I’ll need both your IDs.”
Woman # 1 had hers but it quickly became obvious that woman #2 did not. She immediately became hostile and argumentative, informing me that she didn’t need her ID, that she wasn’t buying anything from this store, that these cigarettes weren’t even for her. And all this was profanity laced. I tried to explain that it had the appearance they were buying this together and therefore I needed everyone’s ID. She said to her friend, “We can go buy this at another store.” Which was fine with me, as I was growing tired of the tirade and I removed the beer from the counter and said, “Yes, you can.” On her way out she said to her friend, loud enough so I would be sure to hear, “We don’t need any more of this racist-ass crap.”
Ha! I don’t care what color you are. I know, you know, and I know you know, you need an ID to buy this stuff! When I told Mary about this I said, “I’ve been cussed out by men, women, white people, and black people. I’m an equal opportunity ‘cuss out clerk’!
Whenever I train a new clerk, one of the first things I tell them is, “This is your drawer. You ID any one you want to ID. Don’t let them tell you, ‘I know Jeff blah blah…’ You want an ID? You ask for ID.”
Last week I had a new girl for two nights. A man came in. I knew him. I’ve sold age restricted substances to him. But she didn’t know him so she asked for his ID. Turned out he didn’t have it on him. He began to plead that he knew me and I knew him etc and then to plead with me. I told him, “Man, this is her drawer, it’s her call. She has to act like I’m not here.” She refused the sale.
He was angry and told me, “You and I are about to have a falling out, now.” He eventually left.
He came in last night and told me, “I’m mad at you and you know why.”
So I kinda got on him, “Listen, that girl has to get used to checking for IDs. What's gonna happen when I’m not standing behind her and some one comes in and says, “I know Jeff. He sells me….” She doesn’t know. She’s gotta learn to be tough and check everyone’s ID.”
To his credit he replied, “Touché.”
And this morning I learned I’m going to have even more angry people – I was informed that I cannot sell age restricted substances to third parties. That is, and this happens all the time, they come in and say, “He/She says they want [this kind of] cigarettes…” Since I don’t know the third party and their age, No Sale. I tell you now, I’m looking at some angry people…
Monday, January 20, 2014
Observations from behind the counter
Working with the public is so much fun
Last week I spent two nights training a new girl. All night long people would come to the counter where Brittany was running the register, look at me and say, “So, you training a new one, huh?” Both nights. Finally, I said to her, “This is weird. It’s like you’re not even here.” On her second morning a regular came in and while he was paying her for his coffee, he said to the manager, “I see you got another new girl.” Brittany and I just looked at each other and rolled our eyes.
Brittany was on the register and the store phone rang and I answered it. The man asked, “What time do you close?”
I answered, “We don’t ever close.”
He seemed stunned. “You…Never...Close?”
I said, “No, sir.” But he was so stunned he didn’t say or do anything more. After a moment or two I concluded the call, “OK. Have a nice night.”
A little while later a rather odd fellow came in and bought some beer. When he left I told Brittany, “I think that was our caller.” She said, “He was a little odd.”
Last night a young man came to the register with a 44 oz drink. I can’t remember how we got to talking about it but he felt the need to explain why he was getting such a large lemonade drink. “When I was drinking sodas I would drink a 2 liter a day. Then I started to worry about kidney stones. I heard that the acid in lemonade dissolved kidney stones. So now I drink lemonade.”
“You do know that our ‘lemonade’ is mostly high fructose corn syrup?”
Without even blinking he replied, “Well, it seems to be working.”
In the middle of the night a fella came in and announced, “I’ve got a lot of orders, here.”
“OK. What’s first?”
“I want $10 on number 3”
I took the money and set the pump. “Next.”
“I want 2 Newports in a box and one Camel Menthol Silver.”
I got them. “Anything else?”
“That’s it.”
“Oh, I was all ready for more!”
He said, “I didn’t know how hard you'd been working tonight.”
Hahaha! I love people with a sense of humor
Last week I spent two nights training a new girl. All night long people would come to the counter where Brittany was running the register, look at me and say, “So, you training a new one, huh?” Both nights. Finally, I said to her, “This is weird. It’s like you’re not even here.” On her second morning a regular came in and while he was paying her for his coffee, he said to the manager, “I see you got another new girl.” Brittany and I just looked at each other and rolled our eyes.
Brittany was on the register and the store phone rang and I answered it. The man asked, “What time do you close?”
I answered, “We don’t ever close.”
He seemed stunned. “You…Never...Close?”
I said, “No, sir.” But he was so stunned he didn’t say or do anything more. After a moment or two I concluded the call, “OK. Have a nice night.”
A little while later a rather odd fellow came in and bought some beer. When he left I told Brittany, “I think that was our caller.” She said, “He was a little odd.”
Last night a young man came to the register with a 44 oz drink. I can’t remember how we got to talking about it but he felt the need to explain why he was getting such a large lemonade drink. “When I was drinking sodas I would drink a 2 liter a day. Then I started to worry about kidney stones. I heard that the acid in lemonade dissolved kidney stones. So now I drink lemonade.”
“You do know that our ‘lemonade’ is mostly high fructose corn syrup?”
Without even blinking he replied, “Well, it seems to be working.”
In the middle of the night a fella came in and announced, “I’ve got a lot of orders, here.”
“OK. What’s first?”
“I want $10 on number 3”
I took the money and set the pump. “Next.”
“I want 2 Newports in a box and one Camel Menthol Silver.”
I got them. “Anything else?”
“That’s it.”
“Oh, I was all ready for more!”
He said, “I didn’t know how hard you'd been working tonight.”
Hahaha! I love people with a sense of humor
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