I just want to be happy

A friend of mine told me about a recent encounter he had with a young man. This young man has a habit of getting into trouble and my friend asked him, “What do you want out of life?” He answered, “I just want to be happy.”

I’ve been thinking about that.

What is happy? I’ve looked up the word and done a brief etymological study. I know how it feels, but I cannot put into words what it is! Is it the same as satisfied? content? fulfilled? pleased? excited? fun?

Is it wrong to want to be happy? I don’t think so. I don’t think anybody says, “I want to be sad or miserable all my life.” Is happy a goal or a by-product? Can I say “My goal in life is to be happy?” Of course I can say it, but is it realistic?

I’m not mocking the young man. His statement has caused me to think about this. When pressed, he defined happy as having what he wanted. And most of us would agree, we are happy when things go our way or we get or have what we want. So, happiness often seems to depend on our circumstances. But is this dependable? How many of us get everything we want? All the time. And have you noticed that sometimes the thing you think you need to be happy doesn’t work as planned?

Like Breyers Peanut Butter Cup Ice Cream. Not too long ago I was at Bi-Lo and saw some. Oooh, it looked good and I wanted it. I wrestled with this during my next couple of trips to the store. Finally I decided, this would make me happy. Alas, I was disappointed when I had my first bowl. It did not make me happy.

Surely there is nothing wrong with having what you want, but just as surely you can’t pin your hopes of being happy on that. Well, except for a Nook Color. I’m pretty sure I would be happy with that!

Therefore, I think that happiness itself cannot be your goal in life. You can’t aim for it in the sense, “If I have or do (fill in the blank), I will be happy.” Happiness has to come from another well. Because no one gets everything they want all the time. Besides, if you always got everything you wanted, when you wanted it, would you ever develop character? Trials, difficulties, disappointments, delays etc develop strength, patience, endurance, perspective. Now, I’m no different than anyone else, I don’t want delays and disappointments any more than you. And I don’t always respond well to them either. But we have to admit, they are a part of life.

This friend of mine participates in triathlons. This involves a lot of training. Is it fun to run, swim, and bike all the time? Is he happy when he is climbing another seemingly endless hill? Is he even happy during the grueling meet itself? Honestly, I don’t really know, but I kinda doubt it. It must make him happy because he continues to do it, but I would guess the happiness is the fruit of this.

Don’t we all do things we don’t want to do, just because they need to be done? Take work for example. Are you always happy to have to go to work? Are you always happy to cut the grass, take out the garbage, fix supper, wash dishes. I’m gonna guess, No. Yet we do these things because they need to be done and that is what responsible people do. You can be happy while doing them, or happy to have them done. But that is my point – happiness cannot be tied too closely to circumstances, it has to have another source.

Again, that is not to say that circumstances themselves can’t make you happy. I’m pretty sure that I will be happy if I am able to get an iPod!

I see a lot of people come to my store who seem pretty unhappy, like they have bad circumstances AND have not found the other source of happiness. Just sour people. I see a lot of men with their girl friends or wives who look exasperated and totally put out with everything the girl says or does. I’m always amazed because THAT itself would make me unhappy, but the women seem totally oblivious to it. I always think, your guy is such an unhappy camper, why are you with him? I’ve noticed a lot of parents are like that with their children. That is sad.

So, what is happy? It is hard to put into words, but I know it when I feel it. Can your goal in life be, “I just want to be happy”? Of course, you can have any kind of life goal you want, but I think if this is your goal you will be sorely disappointed. I don’t think happiness is something you can aim for, it has to be the fruit of the way we live. And I think we have to be careful not to tie it too closely to possessions and circumstances. We have to find that other fountain that transcends these. And I repeat, I don’t think it is wrong to be happy because of possessions or circumstances. For example, I am always much happier when I’ve had enough sleep!

And then there is the deeply personal question, Am I happy? I am today, because this is my day off!

Since I believe in Jesus, I have to wonder if the Bible says anything about happy. You know what, it does. Maybe I will write another post on what the Bible says about it. Meanwhile, in closing let me quote a stanza from one of my favorite hymns.

Worthy is the Lamb, who shed His precious blood
To restore a world to happiness and God
“When no eye could pity and no arm could save,”
Jesus for our ransom, Himself freely gave.  ~ Johnson Oatman, Jr.

I used to have problems with the second line. But I don’t any more. I believe one of the results of being reconciled to God is a happy life. But then, that is another post!