Confession of a Christian who does not have a church

Confession of a Christian who does not have a church

or

I believe in Jesus but I have no church

A Facebook friend recently posted a link to an article by R.C. Sproul Jr. In this article, one of the first things he said was: If you are not under the authority of name-able specific elders, you are not part of the visible church and thus do not have a credible profession of faith. Repent, and get under authority.

Ouch! I don’t know what “name-able specific elders” means, but I say again, Ouch! I confess, I believe in Jesus, but I am not now part of a local church. But, I have a really good explanation for this. Well, maybe not really good, or even very good, but I can explain.

First, I realize I need to be in church. Yes, for the worship. Yes, for the Word. But also for the fellowship. I need this. I want this. Yet I am not in a church. Why not?

I have tried. I believe in the local church so I keep trying churches in Rock Hill. I pray and search. I search and pray. But nothing. Why? I have a better idea of what I would like to find in a church, but still no church.

I work third shift. And I work every Saturday night. Sunday morning is the end of my work week and I am tired. Flimsy, but real. The hardest part of working third shift is your first day off. I still wrestle with what to do: Do I stay up all day and fall asleep between 5 and 7 pm? Do I stay up in the morning and sleep all afternoon? Do I sleep in the morning and wake up in mid-afternoon? What a conundrum! I confess, I feel better the rest of the day when I sleep in the morning. But this is about my lack of church not my lack of sleep!

I have been to a lot of churches. I’ve walked out of really bad services and fallen asleep during boring services. I even got yelled at by one pastor for questioning him about his sermon. We did pick a church and purpose to become part of this fellowship. After church one Sunday I told my wife, Feel free to continue to attend, but I cannot go anymore. Well, she wouldn’t go without me and really felt the same way. Back to square one.

I know that my biggest problem has been that I was the pastor for so many years. I struggle with how they are doing this and teaching that. But I really think time away has helped with that.

I admit, I want a contemporary traditional church, a liturgical contemporary service, an evangelically charismatic church. Is that too much to ask? OK, that is why I was pastor! Truly,

I want to be able to worship the Lord

where the Holy Spirit is present and free

the Word is taught full and accurately

and Jesus is exalted continuously

Is the problem with the Church in Rock Hill or with me? Since this is my blog and everything else in my life and in the world is my fault, then I go with Door A. Seriously, I believe in the church and want to find one. My prayer can be summed up in two verses:

turn thou me, and I shall be turned; for thou art the LORD my God.

I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go:

I will guide thee with mine eye.