Sleep

Sleep.

Sweet and rare.

You may say the ‘rare’ is because I’m old as them thar hills. If I wasn’t born of a woman and made of the dirt from those hills, I’d say I’m older than the hills!

I work all night and try to sleep all day. But my body cannot be fooled. I have made my room as black as I am allowed, but the light comes pouring through every crack, it slips in under the door, and heads straight for my eye. I’m tired, I lay down, I sleep for a while, but the light tells my body, “No. No. No sleep for you!”

My eyes are open. I’m awake. I lay there in the semi-dark room. I cannot sleep, so I get up, but immediately I know, I need more sleep.

This morning, I got off a little after 7 and laid down at 8. I was meeting a brother for lunch at 1 so I planned to sleep until 12:15. Slept fitfully until a little before 11. I got up even though I was still so tired. But I am happy to report that lunch itself helped a lot. But I know what will happen tonight.

As things settle down, around 7 tonight, I will start feeling it. By 8, I will start falling asleep, if I sit down. I could be in bed and asleep by 9. Ah, sleep has come, right? This is good, right? Ha! I will be awake by 2 or 3 am! This is my first day off.

What about my second day off? You can see the pattern developing, but things will no doubt go well and I will be up ‘til maybe 11 or 12. But no matter when I go to sleep, I will wake up at 4. Through determination I may make it until 5. AM.

What’s really funny is that my best sleep on my days off comes on the night I return to work. I will lay down and get the best three hours of sleep.

Ah, but I complain. I know other people who are just as sleep deprived as me, even more so. Sleep is rare. And usually for those who work nights. But sleep is also sweet.

I know people who sleep as little as possible – “Life is short and I might miss something.” I have a different problem. Many times I wake up with too little sleep and don’t feel like a person. Solution? Sweet sleep. Another hour or two and I feel human. Sometimes, I get up and am as irritable as a riled up bear. Remedy? Sweet sleep. And then the darkest times - I wake up way too early and am depressed. Cure? You got it!

Sleep is sweet. I know that one day I will fall asleep in Jesus and then rise again, “And there shall be no night there; and they need no candle, neither light of the sun; for the Lord God giveth them light: and they shall reign for ever and ever.”

It may seem like I’m complaining and whining. I’m not really. I started this while lying in bed this morning, upset because I couldn’t sleep any longer. But you know what? it’s 7 pm and I feel ok right now. I can’t quite see straight, but I feel pretty good. It’s a beautiful day and I think I shall go out on the lanai, make a fire and enjoy the rest of the day and early evening.