There are a thousand stories at night. Here are three of them
A man came to the counter and asked, “Do y’all sell single condoms?”
“No, sir.”
“How much is a pack?”
“$4.80”
“Good God!”
Then he turned around and left. My first thought was, “God is good, but what does that have to do with a box of condoms?”
Then I thought, “I bet he’s never seen the doctor bill, the hospital bill, the food bill, the clothes bill, the Christmas bill, the school bill…”
Children do cost a lot, but you know what, they are worth every penny. Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Every night I check the car wash for car magnets. Last night, as usual, I checked it and found a license plate! That was a first. I didn’t know what to do with it. So I propped it up outside the car wash and planned to speak to the next police officer I saw.
Around 2 am an officer stopped by for coffee. He comes in often and we talk so we talked for a little and then I announced, “I have a police type question.”
He said, “You’ve got the right guy!”
So I explained about the license plate and asked him what I should do with it.
He asked, “What’s the number?”
I don’t even know my own license plate number so I said, “I don’t know. Let’s go take a look.”
We left the store and headed for the car wash. He said, “The reason I asked about the number is my partner is typing up a stolen tag report right now. Wouldn’t it be funny if this was the tag?”
He took a look, then called his partner and asked for the number of the stolen tag. This was it! We laughed and laughed about this. His partner came over and joined us. He called the lady with the lost tag and said, “We found your tag.”
I laughed and said, “I see you took credit for finding the tag!”
We are (once again) getting hot dogs at my store. Oh joy, more work for me at night. The company has printed up what they call “The Grill Play Book” which tells us how to load and clean this thing. The assistant manager printed out one for each associate and urged us to take it home and read it. I told my manager that if I took it home, it would never make it back up here and I most definitely did not plan to read it on my own time (I can be like that!). And I asked if I could leave it at the store for reference. He seemed fine with that.
A couple of days later the assistant manager told me in no uncertain terms to take it home, she was tired of seeing it up there. After a brief spat, I just put it in my book bag and read through it one night. At work.
This morning she had to call the manager about something and he told her to tell me to "put some hot dogs on the grill." She turned it on and told me to go get some hot dogs. I said, “The book says to let it warm up for 30 minutes before we put hot dogs on it.”
She replied, “Just put them on the back of the grill. It’s already warm and it takes the hot dogs 30 minutes to get ready to eat.”
I said, “uh, the book says to warm the grill first, but you want me to put the hot dogs on now?” I knew she was wrong, but to my credit, I’m gonna do it if she says so.
She retorted, “I’ve never read the book.” This would be the book she demanded every associate take home and read.
Now I’m confused. So I get the book and open it to the second page, which plainly states, “Let the grill warm up for 30 minutes…” Which I read to her.
By this time she has discovered another problem and announces, “Just forget it. No hot dogs today.”
Another reprieve. But I’m pretty sure there will be hot dogs to put on the grill tonight as well as a grill to clean. Thrilled. Just thrilled!
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