How do they do it?

I was a pastor for 25 years. I pastored three churches in Pensacola, FL, Macon, GA, and York, SC. I was in York for 20 years. God was good, we had formed a really good fellowship and one I believe was solidly biblical. We never grew over the 100 mark. We would have more than that in our annual Vacation Bible School (!) but not in our Sunday services.

I have friends who pastor larger churches. One friend, Hal Mayer in Tampa, FL (he is the one who married us way back when), pastors a church with over 400 people. I don’t know how he does it.

Two of the prominent influences in my ministry and pastoral “style” were Richard Baxter (The Reformed Pastor) and Jay Adams (Shepherding God's Flock - A Handbook on Pastoral Ministry). I was never as good, effective or efficient as them but I tried to model this approach. It was a very personal, shepherding approach. I tried to regularly visit all those who attended the church - to visit them in their homes, to visit them at work, and to have them in our home. If they ever had to be in the hospital, I would be with them before surgery and then sat with the family in the waiting room until they were in recovery. Of course, if there was a death, I would be with them at the hospital, in the home, at the funeral, and afterwards. I would be up early to meet them at the hospital, up late at night at the hospital, sometimes be with them all night at the hospital. One man was in ICU for several months and I was there to see him every day.

How do you do that in a large church? I’m not criticizing pastors of large churches. Or finding any fault with them. I just don’t know how they do it.

While I was in York, I was one of the three longest serving pastors there. The other two, Wallace Tinsley of Filbert Presbyterian Church and Tony Grant of the Associate Reformed Presbyterian Church, are still there. I know Mr. Tinsley had the same pastoral “style.” Neither one of us would have been physically able to pastor a church of  400+ people! How do they do it?

I was trying to shepherd these folks, and love them with the love of God. In the beginning, I disliked standing at the door after the service and shaking hands with everyone as they left. One day the Lord ministered to me that I was to love on the people as they left. So I did. I would greet everyone before the service, then stand in the back after and talk to them some more. I would love on the children and the young people. These were “my people.”

I heard once about a pastor of a small church who didn’t even know the names of the young people in the church. I thought that was terrible. I knew their names, what they did, who they liked and more. I was always asking/harassing  them about their t-shirts and the slogans on them: What is that? What does that mean? Really? I would talk to them, joke with them, play catch in the parking lot with them, challenge them. Drive them to church and back home. And on the way home often ask one of my famous “philosophical questions” which we would then discuss.

I suppose I had learned from Mr. Bomar way back in Bible College, “They don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” God had filled my heart with love for these folks and I wanted them to know I cared.

Now, am I blowing my own horn? Trust me, I have no horn to blow. Am I suggesting that pastors like my friend Hal aren’t doing a good job? No way. Am I secretly suggesting that my method of pastoring was better than whatever method they have? Absolutely not. What am I saying then? Simply this, I’ve been thinking about it lately and I don’t know how they do it. With the pastoral “style” I had, I would not know how to be the pastor of a large church.