Is it too late to buy beer?

In Rock Hill you can buy beer 24 hours a day, every day except Sunday. From midnight Saturday night until 7 am Monday morning, no beer. (You can buy liquor Monday through Saturday 9 am-7 pm at liquor stores and all week until 2 am at bars, but that is a different tale!)

Since I work 3^rd shift I get asked all the time, “Is it too late to buy beer?” or “Can I still buy beer?” I usually answer the latter question with, “If you’re old enough and have enough money.”

But Saturday nights is a different animal. At midnight on the dot (by the register and not the clock or your phone) the register stops allowing me to sell beer. I used to warn people standing at the beer cooler. But I got tired of that and found that it was more fun to let them lug it to the counter and then remove it saying, “Sorry, it’s too late to buy beer.”

Why would I get that way? Because of the responses:

- “What day is it?

- “What time is it?” (this usually at 2:30, 3:00 am)

- “(censored), is it Sunday? (censored, censored censored)”

- “You’ve got to be (censored) kidding me!” Turning to their friends, “Did you know it was (censored) Sunday?”

I went in at midnight one Saturday night and was heading to the cooler to stock it and met a guy coming up the aisle with a six-pack. I told him it was too late. He said, “Why, what time is it?” I said, “It’s 12:30, man.” His reply? “I forgot what state I was in.” Even better than that, the lady who brings the newspapers told me that she was in a store one Sunday morning when someone tried to buy beer and was turned down. He asked why and was told it was too late. He asked, “Where am I?” He was told South Carolina but that he could still buy beer in North Carolina. He asked, “Which way is North Carolina?”

How do these people function? They don’t know where they are, what day it is, or what time it is!

A couple of weeks ago a woman came in at 1:50 am. Here is the conversation

Her: Can I still buy beer?

Me: No, it is too late.

Her: No, it’s not. I can buy until 2.

Me: No, it stops at midnight

Her: I think you’re just being a (censored). I buy beer her all the time at 1:50.

Me: No, ma’am. It is against the law.

Her: You mean every other store in Rock Hill is breaking the law?

Me: If they’re selling beer after midnight on Saturday night, then yes.

Her: I buy beer here all the time at 1:50

Me: Not on Saturday night you haven’t. I’ve worked here almost every Saturday night for the last 3 years and I don’t sell beer after midnight. The register won’t let me.

Her: No, you have not. There is some other guy (she accurately described a co-worker) and he sells to me all the time at 1:50.

At this point, two other guys came in from the bar up the road that had just closed and also tried to buy beer. I turned them down as well (some nights I have quite a collection of confiscated beer behind the counter). They got into a discussion of the last hour one could purchase beer. They all thought it was 2 am. When I still refused, one of the guys said to her, “Follow me, I’ll take you to where you can get some.” As she walked out the door I was once again loudly denounced as a (censored).

Did they get their beer? Not legally, since by this time it was after 2 am and even the bars were closed down!

So, Is it too late to buy beer? For many of the people I see nightly, probably Yes just because they have no doubt been going at it for some time already. But if it is after midnight Saturday night, it is always too late! C’mon, they all have cell phones that they are constantly checking. How can they not know what day or time it is?