What's Your Cheapest Cigarettes?

Smokers are an interesting people.

A lady came in early one morning and asked, "What's your cheapest cigarettes?"

"Pall Mall. $4.32."

"That's not cheap! At my store they're just $2! How can you say that is cheap?” The beginning of a non-stop complaint about cheap and how we are not it.

"Would you like a pack?"

"Well, OK. But that is not cheap. Y'all don't know what cheap is. At my store I only pay $2.99. This is not right."

She paid and left. As she walked out the door she was muttering about cheap and how she only paid $3.50 for these at her store. (We all want to tell such people, “Why don’t you go buy them at your store then!”)

This is a fairly regular occurrence. People walk in and ask, "What's your cheapest cigarettes?" And the funny thing is, they usually wrinkle up their nose in disgust when we tell them and proceed to ask for the more expensive Marlboro or Newport! Whenever I hear this question I want to reply, "Go home. You can't afford to smoke."

Of course, this is much better than, "How much are your Newports?" $5.61. "(Censored!!)"

We get a lot of complaints about the cost of our cigarettes. Apparently, there are stores in Rock Hill that are giving cigarettes away! When Obama became president one of the first things he did was raise the tax on tobacco and ban the use of the terms “Light” and “Ultra Light” to describe cigarettes. Cigarettes jumped in price over night. People were complaining loudly! I tried to tell them it was the government (Obama) and not the store. They never got it. Then South Carolina raised the tax as well. We had some unhappy people. “I’m gonna quit. This is just ridiculous.” But so few of them do. (Happily, I do see people who announce they want to quit and do.) It also increased the frequency of the question, “What’s your cheapest cigarettes?”

As I said, smokers are interesting people. They will often buy a pack of cigarettes,  two or three cigarillos, and a cigar. One guy last night bought cigarettes, cigarillos, and chewing tobacco!

Smokers can be a very good illustration of self-centered people. I am not saying that they are all self-centered, only that in this one respect they illustrate it.

Someone will come in and say, "Can I have a box of Marlboro Lights?" When I get it and bring it to the counter they look at it and say, somewhat indignantly, "MENTHOL Lights." When I return with that they respond, "Uh, 100s." As if it was clear that I should have known what they wanted! After all, THEY knew what they wanted. I am wondering when the rumor began that I could read minds :-)

The same thing happens with cigarillos. They will come in and say, "Give me a cigarillo." Keep in mind we have 4 brands and 6 or 7 flavors! But they expect because THEY know what they want, I do too. This happens every night. I usually ask, "You don't care which flavor?" Of course they do and that prompts them to tell me, too.

We have to be careful that we don’t go our way through life only aware of what we are thinking and just assume, I know what I am thinking, everybody else does too. Not only that, but other people have thoughts and ideas and feelings. The universe does not revolve around me. I heard someone describe God this way, There is a God, and you are not him!

They can also be an illustration of walking by sight and not by faith. They will come in and start looking all over the place. Craning their necks, looking right, left, high, low. “Whatcha looking for?” “I’m looking to see if you have my cigarette.” Funny thing, often it is people who have been here before and gotten the very brand they plan to buy! With cigarillos the response (to my question) is often, “I don’t know. I don’t see it yet. Ah there it is, I want…” Sometimes I get frustrated and say, “Just tell me what you’re looking for.” But they rarely do. In fact one man came in and began to look all around. I asked what he wanted. He said, “Camel Lights” (uh, excuse me, Camel Blue; I don’t want to get in trouble with the government!). I told him we had them. His response? “I don’t see them.” As I said, their cigarettes don’t exist unless they see them!

I don’t know why this is more common among smokers than others, but we all have this tendency. The Scriptures teach us, “For we walk by faith, not by sight.” We have to admit that what we can see often seems more real that what we cannot see. But it is not. What we see (feel, think, experience) is real but is only temporary and only part of the whole. The things of God are more real and they are eternal!

“Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you. For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God. For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (2 Cor 5:14-18)

Paul is describing his experience in the ministry: “There are many hardships and deprivations, trials and troubles, but God is going to raise me from the dead at the end. So I won’t give up.”

Finally, there are those who like chewing tobacco. They almost always ask, “Do you have…?” But they do have an idiosyncrasy. I consider chewing tobacco to be one of the most disgusting habits known to man! Yet, they are the most particular people. “Do you have Copenhagen?” Yes. “What is the date [on the can]?” If it is more than a week old they want a different can. You mean to tell me, this stuff gets more disgusting??