Just who were those girls these boys married?

Just who were those girls these boys married?

or

The state of marriage in Genesis

If you have been following my Encounter at the well posts, you have probably noticed that marriage in these stories is a family affair. Here’s what it looks like:

Abram married Sarai – his half-sister
Isaac married Rebekah – his first cousin once removed
Jacob married Leah & Rachel – his first cousins; and sisters

Are we talking incest?
In 20 States in the US you can marry your first cousin and only 4 states do not allow marriages between first cousins once removed. So, this is not as unusual as we might think. I have read that it is estimated that as many as 80% of the marriages in human history have been between first or second cousins. So this is not really a problem. But what about marrying your half sister? This is probably frowned upon in most communities. Then there is the matter of Jacob marrying two sisters. Later on the Law forbids this, “Thou shalt not take a wife in addition to her sister, as a rival, to uncover her nakedness in opposition to her, while she is yet living (Leviticus 18:18). First, it was not Jacob’s intention to marry both of them! And according to Jewish tradition, Bilhah and Zilpah were actually sisters of Rachel and Leah, so he wound up marrying four sisters! But that was never his plan. Second, the Law had not been given yet, so Leviticus 18:18 was not yet in effect. And this may have been one of the reason for the later prohibition.

Clearly, God took these unusual situations and used them toward His plan. The fact that Abraham married his half sister and Jacob married four sisters does not mean God has put his stamp of approval on these arrangements, this is just how it happened. God met them where they were.

Arranged marriages
While this strikes us as abhorrent, this has been the common form of marriage for most of world history. In Rebekah’s case, they asked her if she approved of this arrangement.

Dowry
This is another ancient custom that is despised by modern, western culture. There were two types of dowry: that provided by the women’s family, that provided by the man’s family. In Genesis the husband’s family provides the dowry. I’m not arguing for or against dowry, I’m simply pointing out that this is an ancient custom and that it is only modern society that does not practice this.

Polygamy
Abraham was married to Sarah and in the course of time she suggested he take Hagar to wife. Then of course there’s Jacob! Polygamy has been practiced in many cultures throughout history. Am I suggesting that this is part of God’s original plan for marriage? No. This is one of the many ways that sin has affected human life. Just because something is recorded in the Scriptures does not mean it is approved or recommended. It just happened and this is the true record. Actually, the two accounts of polygamy reflect unhappy home lives.

Wedding Ceremony
They seem to have held a feast of some sort. It either lasted a week or the honeymoon did. Another instance of things being done differently today. Today, we have a single day event in which the bride’s family spends tens of thousands of dollars, but no week long feast!

One thing that is consistent throughout Genesis, which does reflect God’s original plan when he instituted marriage – all marriages were between a man and a woman. There is not a single instance of any other kind of marriage. We do encounter a couple of cities where an alternative lifestyle is practiced, but they come to a sudden and drastic end.

So, what is the state of marriage in Genesis? It is thriving. Each generation is marrying as well as promoting and arranging marriages for the next generation. In fact, people are so sold on marriage that men sometimes marry two, three, even four women! But, when a man married, it was always to a woman, and when a woman married, it was always to a man. It also appears that love was involved – Isaac loved Rebekah, Jacob loved Rachel. I can only hope that Rebekah and Rachel loved them back. Leah probably loved Jacob.